Holy Spaces

All cultures have social boundaries. Boundaries surrounding decorum, social protocols, or what one might call proper behavior may exist in ways that are not obvious to members from different cultures. And, when communities from different cultures share a common space, members from either side may inadvertently cross these boundaries in ways that might lead to discomfort, confusion, or even anger. It seemed I was developing a knack for finding the boundaries within the big white building and stumbling across them with surprising frequency.

One day Richard called me into his office to talk. He stared silently at me as if pondering what to say or, perhaps, what not to say. As I sat in one of two chairs facing his desk, I was reminded of a time in grammar school when the principal called me into his office. I could see that Richard was not happy. One of the revelations I had during this period was that Richard did not have a free pass to run willy-nilly around his church, engaging in whatever action he felt God might call him to in any given circumstance. He had a board of directors who referred to themselves as the council. The council viewed Richard as an employee of their church, and they could make his life easy or difficult. I learned later that it had taken Richard some effort to get the council's approval to have our community join them in this building, even as guests. But, they acquiesced as our financial contributions made this transition barely palatable.

I also learned that the council had called Richard into a special meeting to discuss the frequent transgressions our community had incurred recently, and they were beginning to make his life difficult. First, storing food on site to feed children was a non-starter. Richard would not even bring the idea before the council. He had already burned enough relational capital just getting us in the building. He knew they would strongly object to storing food on site as it might attract the wrong sort of people to the neighborhood. It might even attract homeless people (another group we hoped to reach ) to the building, which would never do. So putting aside that ridiculous idea, we moved on to more pressing matters.

First, the council (and Richard) were deeply distressed that we were engaged in secular activities in the church building. In their mind, the big white building was a sacred and holy space where people engaged in sacred and holy activities. When Richard heard about our movie idea, he assumed we would show only those Christian movies designed to scare people into a relationship with Jesus. He assumed we would show movies like "Left Behind" or "A Thief in the Night,"; the kind of movies written by Christians for Christians. But, even though the films we showed were entirely kid-friendly, we were supporting secular movie studios--studios of the sort that also made R-rated films. And we brought non-Christians into the building to watch these secular films.

But our biggest blunder by far was with the "Kid Safe" program. The problem was not that the program's purpose was to get kids and parents talking about how to stay safe--even though these were somehow secular topics. The main problem was something I had never considered. Richard had gone online and discovered the woman leading the meeting was a lesbian. We had brought a lesbian into the church. Richard felt angry and betrayed.

Whether a church is affirming or non-affirming, this response made no sense to me. Although Richard and I had never discussed the topic, I knew he and his community were non-affirming. But even a non-affirming pastor who believed homosexuality was outside the boundaries of healthy human relationships should want to reach out to homosexuals. I pointed out to Richard that, as I got to know his community, I knew some of his people were not perfect. People gossiped and slandered (I learned you might say any unkind thing about another person as long as you prefaced it with "Bless their heart" as in "Bless her heart, she always tries not to drink too early in the morning"). Richard loved and embraced alcoholics, drug addicts, gambling addicts, abusive spouses, and people who engaged in every other kind of sin listed in scripture. But homosexuality was a bridge too far. I asked him directly if this was the case; he answered: "Yes."